One day I just woke up like I was in a stupor,
Realised I was much bigger than the previous day I’d been,
Mum ran in all frenzied & yelled in a voice that was super-
“GIRL YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED! & you’re the greatest mess I’ve seen!”
I started and protested but I wasn’t to be heard,
It was pre-planned and I had agreed; mum yelled in pain,
“BUT I’M JUST SEVENTEEN! I said in a voice hurt and slurred,
“Nonsense woman!” said my mother, “Being twenty-seven isn’t a shame!”
“WHAT!”, thought I as unceremoniously on the bed I flopped,
“honestly the world is conspiring against me! It’s all a plot!”
But then again I realised, this plot had no ending, no aim,
How I had managed to be 27 intrigued me just the same!
I decided to go with the flow & a little acceptingly-
I tried to check out who my bridegroom was to be,
I gasped with horror & hid my shock as I saw the photograph,
All in all- a stout little man with a portly moustache!
The wedding was to happen on the very same day,
I waited with my parents for the “baraat” in dismay,
All my mind was thinking of was how to sort this out,
& when the in-laws finally arrived- I began to shout-
“You useless folk who’ve come to accept me as their own,
Try & be sensible for a change & to brainwaves be prone,
Child marriage is forbidden here you gormless ignoramii!
I don’t care who I kill right now- such is my temper high!”
They laughed as if I had cracked a fairly decent joke,
(I must say at this point- I could turn cannibal & their privates poke)
I began thinking of other ways they could probably see-
That I was not the 27-year bride they thought I was to be!
I got my laptop & opened my facebook account frantically,
I knew there had to be SOME eveidence there about me,
I pointed at my profile pic- & yelled “AHA! Now you know!”
My hubby-to-be pointed at the date-“wow you were pretty different 10 years ago!”
Frustrated I ran to my room & retrieved hockey-stick and ball,
I saw to my satisfaction- everyone was appalled,
I dribbled the ball & said “I’m sure a 27-year old will not do this!”
“sure you can!” said my fiance, “I fell in love with you for this!”
Now I have been divorced nearly 4 times in a row,
& three kids have I produced (how I just don’t know…)
& still I ponder on that little unsolved mystery,
Of how I slept for 10 years of my life’s history!